How Doctors Die
Ken Murray in Zócalo Public Square:
Several years ago, my older cousin Torch (born at home by the light of a flashlight—or torch) had a seizure that turned out to be the result of lung cancer that had gone to his brain. I arranged for him to see various specialists, and we learned that with aggressive treatment of his condition, including three to five hospital visits a week for chemotherapy, he would live perhaps four months. Ultimately, Torch decided against any treatment and simply took pills for brain swelling. He moved in with me. We spent the next eight months doing a bunch of things that he enjoyed, having fun together like we hadn’t had in decades. We went to Disneyland, his first time. We’d hang out at home. Torch was a sports nut, and he was very happy to watch sports and eat my cooking. He even gained a bit of weight, eating his favorite foods rather than hospital foods. He had no serious pain, and he remained high-spirited. One day, he didn’t wake up. He spent the next three days in a coma-like sleep and then died. The cost of his medical care for those eight months, for the one drug he was taking, was about $20.
I was in Best Buy a couple days ago, and the sales guy who was trying to sell me a TV reminded me a lot of the doctors/residents I was dealing with during a few weeks I spent caring for a family member at Mass General Hospital a couple years ago. I don’t think they do it consciously, but doctors try to sell you on their philosophies for healthcare.
But it doesn’t matter. You’re sitting in a small room with dim lights and someone tells you that you have two choices:
- You can die a certain death, within months, with very little pain, or
- You can try some heroic measure like chemotherapy for a minuscule chance of a multi-year moderately happy, but extremely painful survival.
Humans are programmed to have hope, and, regardless of any logic, the vast majority will choose option 2. It’s just like playing the lottery. Even now, as I think about those two options in good health, I am compelled by my nature to choose option 2.