AOL: We’ve STREAMLINED, MONETIZED, RETURNED, ENHANCED, FOCUSED, ACHIEVED, ATTAINED, ACCOMPLISHED, PRODUCED, REALIZED, DELIVERED, INITIATED, and GENERATED OVER $1 BILLION  

Some of AOL’s shareholders are angry at the company’s management for being… well, bad at their jobs. One of AOL’s biggest shareholders is staging a coup d'état, and trying to win control of the board. AOL is fighting back, with press release from earlier today:

Dear Fellow Stockholder:

Since AOL became an independent public company in late 2009, AOL’s Board of Directors (“Board”) and senior management have successfully charted a new strategic and financial course for the Company. This new approach has significantly improved AOL’s results, enhanced the prospects for sustained growth, and created value for all stockholders.

You now face an important decision about the future of your investment in the Company. At our Annual Meeting of Stockholders on June 14, 2012, Starboard Value L.P. (“Starboard”), an AOL stockholder, is seeking to elect its own slate of three Director candidates to your Board in order to advance its own interests. We urge you to continue to support the AOL Board and our strategy for success.

This almost reads like a parody. Sadly, it is not.

Disclosure: I own AOL stock.